You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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