Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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