I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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