11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
why didn't you poke me back
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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