8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
