the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She bit a glass in half.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
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