Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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