I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
All I want is dick and wine.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize