ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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