And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
