What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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