I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
