..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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