Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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