There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
