just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
