i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
