Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
