i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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