sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
