you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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