your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
