Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
