My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
