I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
