There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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