Your tits are I can't wait for
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
porn star boner night. come get it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
