We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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