Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Randomize
