I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Oh god it's open bar.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
