dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
