..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Small penises have feelings too.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
