I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
