I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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