Whod you bang
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Randomize
