do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
