please come you make the beer taste better
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
its liver damage thursday
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