part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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