Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Randomize
