dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
