i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Randomize
