32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
