My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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