I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
