NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
