dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
