Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize