They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
