is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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