found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It's just like the Real World with babies
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
