Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
