I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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