AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
