i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
