NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize