i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize