remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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