I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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