Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
