My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
