i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You're like the curious george of whores
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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