If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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